Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center: A Closed Chapter

I made my final trip to New York City last week to see Dr. Jewell for the last time.  I decided to extend my trip a bit longer because I wanted to experience New York City a bit more after having discovered that I grew to love the city.  I stayed for four days.  When I first started going to New York City last year, I remember being very resistant to the idea of the city.  I have come to find that it is a wonderful place to visit.  While I was walking to the subway station from an evening yoga class, I was actually toying with the idea of living there.  I could imagine myself there.  I love the walks in the city.  I love the parks.  It's a foodie's paradise.  Yoga classes are great there.  There are great outdoor art.  There's always something happening.  I loved sitting in cafes as I wrote.  People-watching is the thing to do. I am glad I grew to love the city because I would definitely find another reason to visit!  I am just relieved it's not the cancer center that is getting me there.  Maybe it will be to visit a friend, to catch a show, or simply why not?

The Boathouse at the Prospect Park (Brooklyn)

  Since watching the "Kate and Leopold" movie, I have always wanted to walk
across the Brooklyn Bridge.  I was happy to make it happen.

I had such anticipation for my final appointment and final in-person appearance at my support group meeting.  It was strange to go back to a familiar place to deal with many unfamiliarities.  My regular interpreters were not available.  I was sad.  My regular interpreters were not available for neither the appointment nor the support group meeting.  I had to orient the interpreters and it was not something I wanted for my last visit.  I also hoped to thank my regular interpreters for being there the whole way.

                 

The Rockfeller Outpatient Pavilion on 53rd Street and 3rd Avenue.  This is where I saw Dr. Jewell on 6th floor for appointments, scans, and tests.  The surgery took place in the main hospital on 67th Street and York Avenue.

Dr. Jewell seemed a bit disappointed that I was no longer seeing her even though she recommended that I do so.  I have found a new oncologist, Dr. Angel, in my new town and will begin working with her in August.  Dr. Jewell said that rules have changed and those in remission from endometrial/ uterine cancers no longer have to do pap smear every three months.  It is required annually.  She said that I still have to do vaginal, pelvic, and rectal exams every three months for one more year to make sure there are no tumor growths in my vagina and pelvis.  This change of rules surprised me and was something I discussed with my Gynecologic Cancer Survivors support group later that day.  Other survivors said that they have heard of such rules but as one woman said her cancer showed up without any symptom or indication of tumor growth.  I was advised to advocate for myself and ask for pap smears more often.  Early detection is key.  I am going to see what Dr. Angel says.

I am still processing my genetic test results as well as learning more about genetics.  I will be doing a separate blog post about my genetic test results once I have grasped the information. Genetics are definitely complicated.  I felt Dr. Jewell was abrupt and reactive to my genetic test results when she suggested that I play safe and have my ovaries and breasts removed.  I was thrown off by her suggestion because her recommendation conflicted with the genetics lab and genetic counselor's recommendations that I keep up with my surveillance plan plus monitor my breasts and ovaries.  I was feeling deflated after the appointment.  They certainly cut out a lot from me...  tubes, uterus, cervix, a chunk of skin, and now they want to take my ovaries and breasts away.  That felt too extreme.  I know it takes time to recover from a major surgery.  An infection on the top of it didn't help.  I am almost back to where I was before cancer.  I do not want to go under the knife for a long time.  Dr. Jewell could sense my resistance and she said maybe she does not know enough about my genetic test results.  She said she would consult with the cancer center's Genetics Team by sharing my results with them to see what medical management recommendations they have.  I am still waiting to hear back from Dr. Jewell and the outcome of that consultation.  I am going to see what Dr. Angel has to say about my genetic test results as well.  I have to tell myself again and again that having cancer genes do not mean you can get cancer.  It just means the risk is elevated as compared to the risk for the general population.

It was bittersweet to attend the support group meeting in-person for the last time.  I will continue to participate remotely since it has worked out nicely.  I do not have to be a patient there to continue participating in the support group meetings.  A new member joined the group and she was a young woman who just survived endometrial cancer as well.  It was sad to see someone younger than me but I was glad to meet someone who knew what I went through.  She spoke of her struggles over losing the ability to bear a child.  It was all too familiar to me.  The group discussed in depth particularly about advocating for what is best for ourselves not what the doctors think.  That was helpful for me in light of my genetic test results.

I left New York City Wednesday morning closing the chapter on the regular visits to Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center.  Despite dealing with cancer, it was the trips to MSKCC that made me grow to love New York City.  That was definitely a blessing in disguise.  I'll be back, Big Apple!