Week 3 came with no weird cravings but more of a general loss of appetite. I think it had to do with the fact I returned to work and had so many fires to put out. It was not a typical work week. It has been a hectic week. I am so thrilled that tomorrow is Friday! Many women do not return to work until week 4 or after depending on the amount of physical activity required on the job. Dr. Jewell said I could return because it is a telecommute job. I worked in my pajamas or sweats most of the week. I did not work sitting at a desk. I worked on the couch among many pillows and blankets to make me comfortable. At the end of each day, I am mentally fatigued that I just want to watch TV or movies. Nothing else. The HysterSisters support group continues to be a godsend for me. I love talking with them daily sharing stories about our recovery process.
I am weaning off pain medications slowly. I learned fast enough that it has to be a gradual process. I tried to get off on Friday night and was in horrible pain that I couldn't even walk. It took two hours for the pain medication to kick in. A glass of red wine definitely helped too! My last dose lasted for 16.5 hours. The minute I feel stabbing pain, I take my next dose. This is an improvement from starting with every 4 hours. I am unable to drive until I have been off pain medication for 48 hours. I crave for my independence now that Mike is really busy with work. Returning to driving will be a challenge as it does require core strength. I am truthfully scared about driving again even though I want to drive again.
This week I am able to do more. I can do light housework. I can cook simple recipes. It helps a lot to have the pots and pans put on the counter for me. I can't chop yet so... my food processor comes in handy. I can drink a bottle or cup without a straw. I still can't tie my shoes so I've been wearing slip-on type of shoes. My doctor reminded me at the follow-up appointment on Tuesday that I really need to rest a lot. I can do more but I still need to rest for at least four more weeks.
While I can do more, some post-op infection and complications set me back a bit. Sunday night, I had the chills. It was a horrible night. I was trying to fall asleep but it felt like I was freezing to death. I wanted more blankets and numerous socks to warm up. I had been struggling with urination. It hurt more and more. Last Tuesday, I got antibiotics and my urinary tract infection (UTI) is going away. Finally. UTI is very common for women who had hysterectomies. Monday morning which was also my first day back to work, I developed a
new type of pain near one incision that made it very difficult to move and made me
cry several times that day. At the follow-up appointment, my doctor
said it is the fluid build-up behind an incision which indicate too much activity on my part. After a grueling day traveling to New York City and back, I was beyond exhausted. Wednesday morning I woke up with similar type of pain near another incision. I knew I had to rest more. I have been resting on the couch and/ or the bed since then and I am improving slowly and surely. If the fluid build-up worsens, I would need a CT scan and possibly have those drained. I do not want anything further done so I have been more willing to take the rest I really need.
The follow-up appointment was hard because Dr. Jewell poked! I have been feeling like my vagina is off-limits to anything and anyone! It has been beaten up enough. And she had to check to make sure I was healing. I hated that moment. It hurt but the good news, I am healing nicely. The incisions on my abdomen are healing nicely as well.
I was curious to know one thing about the surgery. I did not understand why I was out in the operating room by 9:15 AM and the surgery did not happen until 10:35 AM. What happened between 9:15 and 10:35 AM? She explained that they added more intravenous accesses in my body, inserted the catheter, breathing tube, and braced me to the table to prevent me from sliding down. Here's an image of what it looks like: http://www.intechopen.com/source/html/6517/media/image3.png.
The pathology report was shared. My cancer was stage 1. The cancer was contained within the uterus. The two lymph nodes that they removed did not have any trace of cancer. I am cancer-free now. It means I do not need chemotherapy or radiation. Mike was overjoyed. He said it meant that he can have me around much longer! It was rather interesting to see I was not sharing the same emotion. It was like, "Oh okay," for me. I actually felt sad. I am still processing the news. Yes, it does feel good to say I'm cancer-free. Yes my cancer was operable but... to get to that point came with a huge price, namely the loss of my fertility and most of my reproductive system. I was especially relieved that I got to keep my ovaries. I knew people were anxiously awaiting the news but I did not want to hear people saying things like yay, awesome, or great news because I did not feel that way. I reached out to a cancer survivor friend yesterday and asked about the feeling I am having. Her response was affirming for me: "A chunk of your life and body. You will process for a long time but you will heal and find joy in the simple fact that you have a lot more wonderful things to do!" I told Mike on Tuesday that I was feeling, "This cancer threw me on a wild roller coaster ride for the past few months and now that the ride is almost over, I really don't know where to start picking up the pieces of my life together." I guess I will figure it out one step at a time. And I have to be patient and kind with myself as I move forward. I asked Dr. Jewell about the surveillance plan. She would not discuss that with me in depth until the next appointment on May 12th. She said that my focus right now should be on recovering from the surgery.
Interestingly, Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center found something from my CT scan done in January here in Maryland. The radiologist here did not notice anything. The CT scan images were sent on a CD to MSKCC and their radiologist noticed that there was a tumor in my right lung. It's probably benign but I was advised by Dr. Jewell to see a pulmonary doctor to get it evaluated. Two years ago, a doctor noticed that I had a tumor in my liver. It has been under evaluation for two years. I am due for a follow-up in May. If it is still the same, then my liver surgeon will call it benign and I can just ignore it. I have been told by some people that I am overcautious when it comes to my health. It's better to err on the safe side than not. If I had not followed up on the heavy bleeding and pelvic pains right away, I might have been in a worse shape with this endometrial cancer. I think it is important to be proactive about your health. If you notice anything odd, go and get it checked out, pretty please.
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