Going through the motions again

It has been a long while since my last post which celebrated my seven years of remission. Unfortunately, I am going through the motions again after doctors found a tumor in my right kidney. 

On March 30th, I was awakened very early with a horrible pain in my lower right abdomen, accompanied by nausea. I could not figure out what was causing this pain. I tried to walk around to see if it would ease-no luck. I took ibuprofen. I went back to bed and tried to sleep a bit more. No luck. Eventually, I called the nurse hotline and they recommended that I go to the emergency room immediately. I was like, bleh. After my last run-in with cancer, I generally do not like going to the hospitals. By the time I arrived at the ER, the pain had worsened. They checked me in right away and a doctor saw me quickly- it was a quiet Monday morning. They gave me a dose of morphine, which did nothing. A second dose? Still no relief. Next came fentanyl, which dulled the pain slightly. They ran a series of tests and scans to figure out what was going on. 

While waiting for results, I checked my email and saw a message from HysterSisters reminding me that it has been 11 years since my hysterectomy. I found it bizarre that I ended up in the ER on that exact anniversary.

They ruled out appendicitis, gallstones, and a few other possibilities. Ultimately, they could not explain the pain and suggested that it might be viral. They sent me home with medication for pain and nausea. BUT- they also noticed something on my right kidney during the CT scan and strongly recommended follow-up. A renal neoplasm. I was shocked. 

My internist wanted to see me that Wednesday to discuss next steps and referred me to a urologist. The soonest appointment was April 23rd. Waiting three weeks was challenging but I managed to keep myself busy. I am deeply grateful for my wonderful fiancé, who continually reminded me to stay in the present and focus on one thing at a time. 

April 23rd: The urologist explained that 80% of this type of tumor is cancer. That was terrifying. He ordered another CT scan- this time with and without contrast- because the ER scan had used contrast only, which can affect imaging clarity. 

On Friday, May 1st, I had the CT scan. The radiologist explained they had needed to image both the veins and arteries near the kidney because this type of cancer can spread through them. For better imaging, they had to inject more contrast in me. As a result, I was very sick afterwards and did not feel better until about 24 hours later. 

This morning, I received the results and a message from my urologist: "Your CT scan did show that this mass on your right kidney enhances in a manner that is suspicious for a type of kidney cancer." I took a few moments to cry, feeling scared about what comes next. The urologist said that the next step is a biopsy. The complication is that I am traveling a lot in May and June. After the biopsy, I am can't fly for at least a week. He said it was okay for me to wait until June to get the biopsy done when I finally have  a full week at home. 

From my journey with endometrial cancer, I've learned the importance of staying in the present moment and dealing with things one step at a time. 

I am currently in Colorado getting married this week- a joyful event that my fiancé and I had so much fun planning. We met when he was 19 and I was 13, here in Colorado. We grew up loving this beautiful place and decided to marry in the same state where we first met, even though we did not begin dating until many years later. 

We set the news aside and went to the Summit County Court Clerk's Office to apply for our marriage license. Afterward, we drove to Glenwood Hot Springs, a place we used to visit when we were younger. That was quite a treat. Next, we drove to the area where we will be married in two days and admired the stunning mountain backdrop. We are especially excited because a winter storm is expected to move through the mountains starting tomorrow and continuing into Wednesday, which should give us  snowy scenes for our photos. 

It feels fitting that today is May 4th- Star Wars day. May the Force be with me as I navigate this next chapter with my health.