Tuesday, September 8, 2015

The New Normal: A Progression, Not A Destination

During my battle with cancer, other survivors and caregivers often spoke of the ‘new normal.’  I was uncertain of what to expect.  What is going to be my new normal?  Now that I have been in remission for a few months, I still do not know what my new normal entails.  It is an ongoing exploration.  The post-surgical infection has made the journey to my ‘new normal’ a bit tricky.   The infection has affected how I navigate through life.  Are those reactions to the infection permanent?  I don’t know.  Let me highlight some examples.

As I write this post, I am on a flight to California for another work trip.  I used to require window seats.  I liked to be away from the busy happenings in the aisle.  I liked to gaze over the changing landscapes as I flew.  I liked to lean on that side to sleep.  This infection has made me require an aisle seat so I could get up and walk around to minimize the aggravation on my wound. I carry a travel pillow with me for me to sit on because many seats aggravate my wound.

My posture has changed.  It made me sit or stand in a particular way to accommodate the wound.   Is it good?  Probably not but it feels comfortable to me now. 

It was determined about 10 days ago that the infection was no longer in my body.  My white blood cell count has dropped to the normal ranges.  Goodbye, antibiotics.  I look forward to healing from the nausea and diarrhea that the antibiotics brought on.  After learning the good news, I decided I wanted a break.  The wound care specialist, however, strongly advised that I keep on using the antibiotic ointment and cleansing the wound area until it is fully healed.  After months of poking, medications, ointments, yada yada, I decided to be rebellious and ditched the ointment for a few days.  Bad idea.  It has slowed down the recovery.  I was encouraged to accept this wound as part of my new normal.  Oh brother.  That little open wound that keeps on draining…. and is a huge annoyance.  I suppose so. 

I have learned to adjust my schedule… I would do a task that involves sitting for an hour then I stand up and do other stuff before sitting again.  That is probably a good thing because I have heard repeatedly from numerous sources that one should get up and walk around at least every hour to keep ‘active.’  So… the wound is making me active.

To ensure my wound remains clean, I have to wear cotton underwear.  I used to dread them.  I preferred nylon, satin, or lace underwear.  Now… cotton!  Boring, old cotton!  Okay.  I got some new cotton underwear… and they are actually comfortable.  Does that mean I am wearing cotton for life?  I don’t know.

I think that the point of this blog is...  I still do not know what my new normal is.  When cancer survivors and caregivers spoke of it, I thought they were referring to it as a destination… like I would have arrived at a final place after experiencing cancer.  It is not.  It’s an ongoing progression in which I continue to learn and discover about the changes that have emerged.  For example, I wear cotton underwear now.  But later on, what would my underwear choice be?  I don’t know.  What would it be like when I finally have a closed and healed wound no longer hindering how I operate?  I don’t know.  I think I will probably make a beeline to the chiropractor to get my posture straightened out. 

For a while there, I thought that I would have to see doctors on a regular basis.  It was driving me crazy.  I was seeing doctors on a weekly basis or even more.  The hiatus in my insurance coverage was actually a blessing in disguise.  It gave me a 15-day break.  My life as a cancer patient/ survivor made me feel like I was in a crowded space where I could not have some privacy and serenity.  Before attending my grandma’s funeral in Portland, Oregon a few weeks ago, I stayed with a friend in Independence, Oregon.  I loved her hometown.  It was so small.  It was so quiet.  Stores closed early.  There were more open spaces than buildings.  It was nice.  A big city felt cancerous to me.  Does that mean I want to move to escape to the boonies?  I don’t know.  This was a powerful metaphor for me… a cause for reflection of how things are slowly quieting down with the medical appointments and then maybe I can hope for a month without seeing a doctor for a month.  So far I have no doctor appointments in September and I hope I can keep it that way for now.  I need a break. 

Part of the progression is seeing how I am getting better.  I played racquetball four times last week and it felt awesome!  I did not get hurt or drop dead.  I, however, was unable to work out other days as I felt tired.  But I still managed to keep up the goal of doing 10,000 steps each day.  Today, I was able to travel with my bags and Chocolate in tow without getting tired.  The past two trips were tough and I was too exhausted by the time I get to the check-in counter.  I am sure I will sleep well tonight as it’s a long day of travel but I am feeling pretty good.  I am ready to try swimming again and decided that San Diego is the place to try it again.  It makes sense.  After all, San Diego was where I started swimming laps as a workout when I first moved there.  I am going to try a hike this week too. 

I am also back to working on my dissertation proposal with a renewed sense of energy.  I am truly happy to be embracing my nerd-dom once again.  Yes, the stupid cancer was an obstacle in my doctorate journey but I am going to finish that thing!  Thinking about research, talking about research, and reading about research are stuff that excite me again.  What has changed, however, I have decided to shift my focus from educational interpreting to medical interpreting for my dissertation.  My dissertation will be tied to cancer.  I am still working out the specifics so I may disclose more details at a later time.   Someone once said to me that once the cancer battle is over, I should get back to my dissertation and forget that it ever happened.  I can’t.  Cancer has become a new part of my identity and I can’t just remove that from who I am.  I am finding kinship with people who have battled cancer.  I thought I didn’t know many people with cancer but now that I have had cancer, I am surprised by how many people have fought cancer and survived.  They are everywhere but I did not see them before.  I smiled when I saw the woman seated next to me on this flight wearing a breast cancer bracelet.  I am wearing an uterine cancer bracelet.  We bonded over this little thing.  Back to my point… I truthfully DID NOT want to learn about cancer.  My dear breast cancer survivor friend said to me back in January, “Welcome to learning about stuff you did not want to learn… but you need to.”  I continue to learn about cancer on a daily basis.  I was in a funk and was trying to get myself to feel excited about working on my dissertation proposal again.  I wanted it to be tied to cancer.  It took me a few weeks to find a way to make it all work out that I did not have to do a major topic change at all.  And I am excited again.  Does that mean I will spend the rest of my academic life researching medical interpreting, specifically in oncology?  I don’t know.  It is an ongoing progression as I mentioned.  For now, it is something that excites me and that is good in my book.

One question that keeps on lingering in my mind… will I return to my die-hard type A personality?  I don’t know.  I have slowed down significantly.  Was it from the surgery recovery?  Is it because of the infection?  For sure, yes.  … Alas, is it a permanent change? I don’t know.  I do know I find myself feeling surprised that I did not accomplish as much in a day as I intended to.  Slowing down a bit is okay.  I suppose I am stopping to smell the roses, so to speak.  This has been a lesson in acceptance.  I am guilty of maintaining extremely high expectations of myself.  I am trying to be more forgiving of myself if I don’t accomplish as much as I wished.  Ironically, I am posting this online at the Los Angeles airport on a three-hour layover before I get to San Diego.  I used to be really annoyed by long layovers but I enjoyed this one immensely.  It is nice to be in the moment and just… wait, enjoy, and observe. 

Part of my exploration of my new normal is taking a hard look at whether I am leading a quality life.  I do not have any clear answers yet.  Answers are emerging slowly, but surely.  There are some things I want to change.  There are some things I want to continue doing.  There are new things I want to try.  Before cancer, I remember I was continually looking for the ideal balance in life.  I think this is true for everyone.  I thought I had answers before.  What is clear, those answers did not work for me.  I look forward to unfolding what works the best for me, only me.     

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