Five years ago today, I received news that my cancer was in remission. I remember making a promise to myself that I would celebrate big for the one-year and five-year anniversaries. In light of the COVID-19 pandemic, I am staying at home instead. Today is just another day of #stayhome. This morning I gave the refrigerator a deep cleaning. This afternoon, I have a two-hour meeting. And I am doing some laundry and writing as well. Nothing memorable.
Strangely, the COVID-19 had some similarities with the time I had cancer. I was asked not to travel because my immune system was weak during that time. I remember feeling so trapped at home. I was also living with an abusive partner at that time who made my life, including the recovery, much more difficult. This is why my heart breaks when I think of how the #stayhome impact people who are being abused at home.
When I was given the green light a few months after receiving remission news, I was so thrilled to travel again. Remarkably so, I have traveled a lot more since then. It is like I have a desire to experience as much as I can in this lifetime. I had several trips between March and July cancel because of COVID-19. Admittedly, I do feel trapped but somehow, I am finding some blessings in this experience. I remember back then, staying at home meant I was given the time to re-evaluate my life and finding enhanced enjoyment in my favorite hobbies. It was during that time that I knew I had to get out of that unhealthy relationship. Additionally, I did some introspective work that prompted me to make other changes in my life. Five years later, by staying at home during this pandemic, I am back to re-evaluating my life. Having this time is valuable and I have been "too busy" in the past few years to do this deep introspective work. I woke up this morning with a realization that this time of self-exploration is a gift in itself. Indeed, it is a celebration of how far I have gone in the past five years and a way to look forward to new changes in the next five years.
